Many people assume that good communicators possess an intrinsic talent for speaking and listening to others, a gift that can’t be learned or improved. The reality is that communication skills are developed with deliberate effort and practice, and learning to understand others and communicate your ideas more clearly will improve every facet of your life.

Messages has already helped thousands of people build communication skills and cultivate better relationships with friends, family members, coworkers, and partners. With this fully revised and updated fourth edition, you’ll discover new skills to help you communicate your ideas more effectively and become a better listener. Learn how to:

• Read body language
• Develop skills for couples communication
• Negotiate and resolve conflicts
• Communicate with family members
• Handle group interactions
• Talk to children
• Master public speaking
• Prepare for job interviews

This new edition features a much-needed chapter on digital communication. Effective communication can easily be compromised when you’re not able to read your conversation partner’s body language, facial expression, or vocal tone. This chapter teaches you how to express yourself well via phone, email, texting, and video—all the skills you need to thrive in the digital age.

Table of Contents

Part I: Basic Skills

1: Listening

2: Self-Disclosure

3: Expressing

Part II: Advanced Skills

4: Body Language

5: Paralanguage and Metamessages

6: Hidden Agendas

7: Transactional Analysis

8: Clarifying Language

Part Ill: Conflict Skills

9: Assertiveness Training

10: Validation Strategies

11: Negotiation

Part IV: Social Skills

12: Forming Accurate First Impressions

13: Making Contact

I 14: Digital Communication

Part V: Family Skills

15: Couples Skills

16: Communicating with Children

17: Family Communications

Part VI: Public Skills

18: Influencing Others

19: Public Speaking

20: Interviewing

About the Authors

Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. He has authored and coauthored numerous books, including The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, Self-Esteem, Thoughts and Feelings, When Anger Hurts, and ACT on Life Not on Anger. McKay received his PhD in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology, and specializes in the cognitive behavioral treatment of anxiety and depression.

Patrick Fanning is a professional writer in the mental health field, and founder of a men’s support group in Northern California. He has authored and coauthored eight self-help books, including Self-Esteem, Thoughts and Feelings, Couple Skills, and Mind and Emotions.

Martha Davis, PhD, was a psychologist in the department of psychiatry at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in Santa Clara, CA, where she practiced individual, couple, and group psychotherapy for more than thirty years prior to her retirement. She is coauthor of Thoughts and Feelings and The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook.